Caution: May Cause Controversy.

“The belief that men love  ‘inexperienced’ women is a fallacy.”

This was possibly one of the most misogynistic comments I’ve come across is a long time. Those were the exact words thrown in my face after explaining to a male peer, multiple times, that I am waiting for marriage to do what, obviously, the rest of my generation has wasted no time doing.  After reading that text message one can only imagine how pissed I was by pretty much being told I am impossible to love simply because I won’t spread my legs. Now, that may not have been what he meant to say, but in the end, it’s what he said all in attempt to have me set aside my beliefs, morals and religion for someone who has not even tried to respect or understand my boundaries and standards. Little does he know, I know of multiple couples who have saved and are saving themselves for marriage and are living happily and I plan on doing the same. But it sucks that guys like this not only exist but think it’s okay to say something like that to one who has explained time and time again why sex, as of now, is not an option.

Only my closest friends (and I guess, now all of my readers) know where my passion lies with the subject of being a virgin, which in this day and age is like saying I’m a fricken dinosaur because you just don’t see it anymore, especially at my age. I guess I will never understand when and why sex became such a BIG DEAL in Western culture. I’ve always said I have an old soul or I was born in the wrong decade but here recently, after having several different conversations with a few close friends, did I officially realize that I just don’t fit in with today’s society and, according to this guy, won’t find love because I’ve decided to stand up for this one specific thing. I mean, come on men! If you always initiate conversation by bringing up a sex related topic and/or it’s impossible to talk with you for at least 30 minutes without you making a sexual comment…you’re not the one for me. But, by the gauge of what he deems appropriate or inappropriate  to say to women, it’s looking like he’s pretty far from love his own self. So, at least I know I’m not alone, right? (lol)

Unfortunately, unlike myself, I’ve witnessed multiple peers fall under the spell of smooth words and a wide smile only to be left heartbroken and/or dealing with other consequences. Now, I am NOT judging those who have decided to partake of sex prior to marriage, but in saying that, I would also expect to not be judged for opting out of participation. But I would like to know, why is it that I, and those alike, are expected to explain why we’ve made this decision but very rarely do we, as a society, ask someone who’s had sex “why would you do that?” An never before have I ever heard “well, the belief that a person can love one with experience is a fallacy.”

So, to the “friend” who thought it was okay to make such a ridiculous comment…thank you for allowing me to realize that I need to heighten my standards in hopes of avoiding misogynistic ignorance such as yours.

 

What do ya’ll think?

Have you ever come across such a comment?

How did you handle it?

Or, do you agree with him?

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2 thoughts on “Caution: May Cause Controversy.

  1. I am a 38 year old divorcee and trust me the subject of sex is still the biggest conversation piece for most eligible bachelors. I have made a concerted effort to be celibate. I find that once you assign the level of priority that sex will serve in your life and you commit to whatever your position is you will truly find a higher level of relational gratification. Now, I can not take all the credit! The gentleman that I was currently dating is an Elder of a church and he has decided to completely serve the Lord. In his decision to do so he brought our sex life (which was extremely satisfying might I add) to an abrupt holt. He assured me that he was completely happy with our sessions but he just felt the call on his life was a higher priority. I told him no problem, but after secret contemplation of all the extremely passionate nights I thought is this fool crazy? Later, I went back and forth and turned it around. How would I feel if I were the one bringing this change to him? I would want him to understand. So, I fully supported his decision. Subsequently, I am using this opportunity to draw nearer to the Lord myself. I am doing just fine. SEX IS A GREAT PART OF A SENSITIVE, MATURE, MUTUALLY GRATIFYING RELATIONSHIP BUT TRULY THERE IS MORE TO LIFE. Its not until you embrace the full you and all that your life was intended for that you can truly enjoy the depths of intimacy. Good Luck Darling! Never, Ever be afraid to define your boundaries. You are in control of the importance that sex will possess in your life. The guy who treasures you will fully understand and embrace your decision.

    • I want to applaud you on not making sex the make or break of a relationship. I’ve seen that happen many times and just couldn’t wrap my mind around someone calling it quits because sex was no longer an option. Also, it’s great that you’re using this time of celibacy to get closer to God!
      Thank you so much for your feedback and advice! Also, thanks for reading!

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